In the Islamic system, marriage is a covenant of a civil nature involving a whole set of mutual obligations. For its validity it requires the public announcement of the free consent of the parties, the consent of the guardian of the bride, whose duty it is to ensure and safeguard the rights of the bride, and a settlement by the husband on the wife proportionate to his means which is called dower, and is not to be confused with the dowry that may be bestowed upon the bride by her parents or guardian.
Prohibitions to marriage are clearly set out, and this is followed by:
“Lawful for you are those outside these categories, that you seek them in marriage, by means of your properties, safeguarding yourselves against fornication. For the benefit that you receive from them pay them their dowers as fixed, and there will be no sin upon you in respect of anything that you may agree upon mutually after the fixing of the dower. Surely, Allah is All Knowing, Wise.” (4:25).
Husbands and wives have reciprocal obligations towards each other, but as man is the breadwinner and has the responsibility of providing for wife and family, in case of a difference in the matter of running the household he has the final word, lest things should get out of hand and the family should be faced with ruin:
“Wives have rights corresponding to those which husbands have, in equitable reciprocity, though, in certain situations, men would have the final word and thus enjoy a preference. Allah is Mighty, Wise.” (2:229).
On account of the physical weakness and delicacy of women and their vulnerability, men are appointed guardians over women:
“Men are appointed guardians over women, because of that in respect of which Allah has made some of them excel others, and because the men spend of their wealth. So virtuous women are obedient and safeguard, with Allah’s help, matters the knowledge of which is shared by them with their husbands.” (4:35)
If the wife is persistently recalcitrant so that the peace and harmony of the household are put in peril, the husband should admonish himself. Should that prove unavailing, he may temporarily withdraw from the marital bed. In the last resort he may have recourse to light chastisement. (4:35).
“Should a woman apprehend ill treatment or indifference on the part of her husband, it shall be no sin on them to seek suitable reconciliation with each other; for reconciliation is best. People are prone towards covetousness. If you are benevolent towards each other and are mindful of your duty to Allah, surely Allah is well aware of that which you do.” (4:129).
Should reconciliation through mutual consultation prove difficult, recourse should be had to counselors; as is said:
“Should you apprehend a breach between husband and wife, then appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people. If they desire reconciliation, Allah will bring about accord between husband and wife. Surely Allah is All Knowing, All Aware.” (4:36)