The ultimate purpose of marriage in Islam is to win the pleasure of Allah, through chastity, fulfilment, contentment and continuation of the species. For instance, among the characteristics of true believers, the safeguarding of chastity through marriage is stressed along with strict and humble observance of Prayer, the shunning of all that is vain, the payment of the Zakat and watchfulness of trusts and covenants:
“These are the true heirs who will inherit Paradise, wherein they shall abide.” (23:11-12)
Then there is the direction:
“Arrange the marriages of widows from among you, and of the righteous from among those under your control, male and female. If they be poor, Allah will grant them means out of His bounty.” (24:33-34)
The Holy Prophet has said:
“Conjugal life is our way, he who turns aside from our way is not of us.”
Unfortunately, the West no longer considers chastity a virtue, indeed it has become a reproach. Experimental living together and promiscuity have become the norm. Perversion and sensuality, inside and outside wedlock, are deemed the true purpose and object of sex. Woman has been degraded into a mere instrument of sexual indulgence.
According to Islam, the relationship between husband and wife should be characterized by grace. The Holy Quran directs:
“Consort with them graciously. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.” (4:20)
The character of the conjugal relationship may be judged from the direction of the Holy Prophet:
“When you come together, supplicate: ‘O Allah, safeguard us against Satan, and keep Satan away from such issue as Thou might bestow upon us’.”
As has been mentioned, the Holy Quran describes husband and wife as garments for each other (2:188); that is to say, a means of security, dignity and ornament.
The whole subject of conjugal relationship is treated in Islam at the elevated level of moral and spiritual consciousness, which excludes all ideas of mere carnal indulgence. This is well illustrated by the following set of directions and exhortations:
“They ask thee, O Prophet, as to consorting with their wives during their monthly courses. Tell them: it is harmful, so keep away from them during their monthly courses and do not consort with them until they are clean. But when they have washed themselves clean, consort with them as Allah has commanded you. Indeed, Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly, and Allah loves those who are clean and pure. Your wives are a tilth for you, so approach your tilth as you may be minded and lay up a store of good for yourselves. Be ever mindful of your duty to Allah, and be sure you will meet Him. Give glad tidings to those who believe.” (2:223-224)
Any attitude that is likely to affect adversely the capacity and chances of childbearing of the wife is thus disapproved. Purity and promotion of righteousness (Taqwa) must always be kept in mind. One of the prayers of the righteous taught by the Holy Quran is:
“Lord, grant us of our spouses and our offspring the delight of our eyes and make us a model for the righteous.” (25:75)