Most people suffer from the failing that when they marry and set up house for themselves, they begin to neglect their parents. The Holy Prophet(sa), therefore, laid great stress upon the meritoriousness of serving one's parents and treating them with kindness and consideration. Abu Huraira(ra) relates: "A man came to the Holy Prophet(sa) and asked to be told who was most deserving of kind treatment at his hands. The Prophet(sa) replied: ‘Your mother'. The man asked 'And next to her?' The Prophet(sa) repeated, 'Again thy mother'. The man asked a third time, 'And after my mother?' and the Prophet(sa) again replied, Still thy mother', and when the man asked him a fourth time, he said: 'After her thy father and after him thy nearest relatives and after them thy more remote relatives.' "The Prophet's(sa) own parents and grand parents had died while he was still a child. The parents of some of his wives were, however, alive and he always treated them with great consideration and deference. On the occasion of the surrender of Mecca when the Holy Prophet(sa) entered the town as a victorious general, Abu Bakr(ra) brought his father to meet him. He said to Abu Bakr(ra): "Why did you trouble your father to come to me? I would gladly have gone to him myself" (Halbiyya, Vol. 3, p. 99). One of his sayings was: "Unlucky is the man whose parents live to old age and he fails to earn Paradise even then", meaning that the service of one's parents particularly when they reach old age attracts the grace and favour of God and, therefore, a person to whom is afforded the opportunity of serving his aged parents and who avails himself of the opportunity to the full is bound to become confirmed in righteous ways and a recipient of the grace of God.
A man once complained to the Holy Prophet(sa) that the more benevolence he exercised towards his relations the more hostile they became towards him; and that the more he treated them with kindness the more they persecuted him; and the more he demonstrated affection towards them the more they frowned upon him. The Prophet(sa) said: "If what you say is true you are very fortunate, for you will ever be the recipient of God's succour" (Muslim, Kitabul Birr Was Sila). On one occasion when the Holy Prophet(sa) was exhorting people to give alms and charity one of his Companions, Abu Talha Ansari(ra), came to him and offered to dedicate an orchard for charitable purposes. The Prophet(sa) was very pleased and exclaimed, "What an excellent charity! What an excellent charity! What an excellent charity!" and added: "Having dedicated this orchard to the service of the poor, I want you now to divide it among your poor relatives" (Bukhari, Kitabut Tafsir). A man came to him on one occasion and said: "O Messenger of Allah(sa)! I am prepared to make a covenant of Hijrat and I am prepared to make a covenant to take part in the holy war, for I am anxious to win the pleasure of God." The Holy Prophet(sa) inquired whether either of his parents was alive and the man told him that both were alive. He then asked: "Are you indeed anxious to win the pleasure of God?" and on the man replying in the affirmative the Prophet(sa) said: "Then go back to your parents and serve them and serve them well." He pointed out that one's non-Muslim relations were equally entitled to be treated kindly and with consideration along with one's Muslim relations. One of Abu Bakr's(ra) wives, who was a non-Muslim, visited her daughter Asma(ra) and the latter inquired of the Holy Prophet(sa) whether she might serve her and make presents to her, to which the Holy Prophet(sa) replied: "Certainly, for she is thy mother" (Bukhari, Kitabul Adab).
He treated not only his near relatives but even remote ones and anybody connected with them with great consideration. Whenever he sacrificed an animal he would send a portion of the meat to the friends of Khadija(ra) (his deceased wife) and told his wives never to overlook them on such occasions. Many years after Khadija's(ra) death when he was sitting with some of his Companions, Khadija's(ra) sister, Halah(ra), came to see him and asked permission to enter. Her voice sounded in the Prophet's(sa) ears very much like that of Khadija(ra) and when he heard it he said: "Oh Lord! This is Halah(ra), Khadija's(ra) sister." Indeed, true affection always manifests itself thus that one becomes fond of and considerate towards all those who may be connected with a person whom one loves or holds in high esteem.
Anas bin Malik(ra) relates that during the course of a journey he found himself in the company of Jarir bin Abdullah(ra) and observed that the latter busied himself in looking after him as a servant looks after his master. As Jarir bin Abdullah(ra) was older than Anas(ra), the latter was embarrassed and protested that Jarir(ra) should not put himself out on his account. Jarir(ra) replied: "I used to observe how devotedly the Ansar served the Holy Prophet(sa) and, being impressed with their devotion to and love for the Holy Prophet(sa), I had resolved in my mind that if I ever happened to be in the company of an Ansari, I would serve him like a servant. I am, therefore, only carrying out my resolve and you should not seek to dissuade me" (Muslim). This incident affirms that where one person truly loves another, his affection extends also to those who sincerely serve the object of his attachment. In the same way those who truly honour their parents are always deferential and considerate towards those who may be connected with their parents through bonds of affection or relationship. On one occasion the Holy Prophet(sa) stressed it as the highest virtue for a man to honour the friends of his father. Among the persons addressed was Abdullah bin Umar(ra). Many years after, while proceeding on Pilgrimage, he met a Bedouin and he made over to him his own mount and also presented him with his turban. One of his companions observed that he had been over-generous as a Bedouin would be pleased with very little. Abdullah bin Umar(ra) said: "This man's father was a friend of my father's and I have heard the Holy Prophet(sa) say that it is one of the highest virtues for a man to honour his father's friends."