At the age of twenty-five he was employed by Khadijah, a noble lady of Mecca, as her agent in a caravan that was about to set out for Syria on a mercantile mission. And Muhammad acquitted himself so well in the discharge of his duties that she was deeply impressed by his honesty, integrity, business acumen and his pleasing and attractive personality.
Khadijah was a widow, after married twice, and had children from both marriages. Now she sent the proposal of marriage to Muhammad through one of her maids. Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was surprised and took counsel with his uncle, who favored the proposal and the match was arranged. At that time Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was twenty-five years of age and Khadijah was forty. That was the first marriage of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). The marriage, despite the disparity in age and prosperity, proved to be a very happy one. This marriage lasted for 25 years.
The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was 50 years old when Hazrat Khadijah died at the age of 65 years. After the death of Hazrat Khadijah, the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) married to an old lady named Sowda Binte Zamah. She was the widow of Sakran Bin Amar, who was one of the servants of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
Up to the age of 50 years the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had only one wife. After the death of Hazrat Khadijah, he married more wives. Polygamy was a common practice of the society. There was not any limit to the number of wives one could have. Abraham had three wives, David one hundred, and Solomon over seven hundred. But the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), according to God’s command limited polygamy to marry up to four wives. All his wives when he married were widows or divorced, except Hazrat ‘Aisha, the daughter of his beloved companion, Abu Bakr Siddique, who became the first successor after the demise of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). She was about nine years old when her parents requested to perform her Nikah, and that was according to the Arab customs. But she was married to the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) when she was 12 years of age and well matured. That was the time when people used to arrange marriages for their girls at a very young age. Because of the hot environment of that land the girls reach to the age of puberty in a very young age. As in America a good percentage of girls reaches to the age of puberty just at nine. And that is the natural phenomenon of maturity of age, or the age of marriage by nature. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had a very successful and happy married life. It was a personal sacrifice on the part of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to have contracted the marriage, and especially with the women older in age to him. The ladies who married the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did so of their own preference. None of them was forced into marriage.
The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was extremely kind and fair towards his wives. He established an excellent example in respect of dealing with wives of different age groups having different temperaments and social status.
Hazrat Khadija was his first wife, and she had made great sacrifices in his cause. She was much older than the Prophet. After her death he married younger women, but he always remembered her. Whenever any of Hazrat Khadija’s friends visited him, he would stand up to receive her.
If he chanced to see any article that had belonged to or had been connected with Hazrat Khadija, he was always overcome by emotion. He often praised Hazrat Khadija to his other wives and stressed her virtues and admired the sacrifices that she had made in the cause of Islam. On one such occasion, Hazrat ‘Aisha was irritated and said, “O Messenger of Allah, why go on talking of the old lady? God has bestowed better, younger and more attractive wives upon you.” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was overcome by emotion at hearing this and said: “O no, Aisha! You have no idea how good Khadija was to me.” The similar love and affection he had for the other wives.
He was very cooperative to his wives in his day-to-day life. He not only helped them in their household activities, but also, he always tried to do his personal works with his own hands. In this regard Hazrat ‘Aisha says: ‘He would patch his garments and sole his sandals.’ She was once asked, ‘How was he with his family?’ She responded, ‘He was in the service of his family until it was time for Prayer, at which time he would go and pray.’ The Messenger of Allah never denigrated any type of food, if he liked it, he ate it, and if he disliked it he left it alone. (Bukhari and Muslim)
There is another similar statement of Hazrat ‘Aisha, the wife of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him):
Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to patch his sandals, sew his garment and conduct himself at home as anyone of you does in his house. He was a human being, milking his sheep, and doing his own household tasks. (Tirmidhi)
Long before the appearance of the prophet of Islam polygamy was being practiced by the Biblical prophets. Abraham had three wives, David one hundred, and Solomon over seven hundred. That was a very common practice of the society to marry more than one wife, and there was not any limit for that. And polygamy was not only in Arabia rather it was being practiced in the entire world.
So according to the custom of the time prophet of Islam also practiced polygamy, and it was when he was over fifty years old. But later it was revealed to the prophet, as God’s command that the Muslims can practice polygamy, under certain restrictions as the Holy Quran says:
And if you fear that you will not be just in dealing with the orphans, then marry of other women as may be agreeable to you, two, or three, or four; and if you fear you will not be able to do justice, then marry only one or marry what your right hand possess. Thus it is more likely that you will not do injustice. And give the women their dowries willingly. But if they, of their own pleasure, remit to you a part thereof, then enjoy it as something pleasant and wholesome. (Holy Quran, 4:4-5)
So Islam permitted polygamy, and the limit of wives was narrowed down to four, while there was not any such limit before. And that permission was under certain conditions, like to take care of the wives properly and to deal with them justly. Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) married more than one wife according to the Arab culture, but of course he had some other privileges also.
The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was required to present to humanity an ideal and perfect model for all stages of human experience. As a husband he was kind, he lived with one wife and with more than one, with the old and the young, with the widow and the divorced, with the pleasing and the moody, with the overconfident and the humble; but in all cases he was the symbol of benevolence and comfort.
The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed the Quranic commands and regulations and solved difficult problems concerning Muslims, in social and political life. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) encouraged Muslims to convey the knowledge they had gained to other Muslims. To educate the female population he needed female helpers, and for that purpose the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) required fully trained ladies. The ideal way to solve this problem was to personally train some ladies, and no one can be better in this field, than the wives.
The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) eliminated racial, ethnic, cultural, tribal and national distinctions and prejudices through these marriages, and encouraged piousness as criterion of reliability and superiority. He married some of the humblest and poorest women, a Coptic girl from Egypt and a Jewess. That was the time when divorced women were looked down upon as inferior in status and were usually not allowed to remarry. By marrying a divorced lady the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) taught that such a marriage is not only lawful but also desirable to grant a divorced woman an honorable status in the society.
Islam spread rapidly as compared to any other religion, and because a number of commandments and regulations concerning women could be propagated only through wives, so the wives of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) from different places and clans having diverse tastes, habits and temperaments, became helpful to educate the women folks properly.
Some of the Holy Prophet’s marriages were in order to wipe out certain prevailing evil customs and practices. For example, there was a common practice that an adopted son was considered as a real son, and he was entitled to all civil liberties like a real son, while the other close relatives were ignored and their rights were neglected. So Islam drew the line between blood relations and the adopted children, and gave them proper rights what they deserved. Practically to make the difference between the real children and the adopted ones, Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) married Hazrat Zainab, the divorced wife of Hazrat Zaid, a freed slave and the adopted son of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). This way he established correct status of an adopted child. Before that it was not allowed to marry the widow or the divorced wife of the adopted son.
Widows and the orphans were totally neglected in the Arab society, so the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) tried his best to elevate their status, to help solve the problem of providing care and protection to widows and their children in peace as well as in war when due to death of large number of male members, women were left without any support. He made his followers realize that they should take care of them with respect, dignity and honor. And one of the best possible ways to establish the relation with them was through marriages. So Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) set up his own example for his followers by marrying with widows.
In the time of the prophet of Islam the prisoners of war were taken as slaves. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) set up an example by freeing them on ransom and on several occasions without charging any thing. They were also encouraged to settle down by working, educating people or through legal marriages. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) not only set the slaves free, but also married two of the captive women, to set up a personal example for the believers.
Some of the marriages of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) were to unite his followers with different clans and tribes in mutual love and affection, and that was the object in marrying Juwairiyah (may Allah be pleased with her), daughter of Harith, the Chief of Bani al-Mustaliq. Similar was the reason of marring Safiyah (may Allah be pleased with her) who belonged to a Jewish tribe. And by marrying Maria the Copt, (may Allah be pleased with her) the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) established close relations with an Egyptian ruler.