Rights of Orphans, Widows and Divorced Women

(Excerpt from Friday Sermon, November 16, 2007)

The third verse which I quoted:

“And the divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three courses; and it is not lawful for them that they conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day; and their husbands have the greater right to take them back during that period, provided they desire reconciliation. And they (the women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in equity; but men have a degree of advantage above them. And Allah is Mighty and Wise.”1

This verse refers to women’s rights. A divorced woman has the right and freedom to remarry after a period of Iddat (a fixed number of stipulated days). Another command of the Holy Qur’an states that they should not be prevented from remarrying. Rather she should be assisted, as she is mature herself, and it is fine if she decides to remarry.

A woman is instructed that if she finds out that she is pregnant after a divorce, she should inform her ex-husband and should not hide it. If the marriage did not work out for some reason, it does not mean that she should take revenge and hide the pregnancy from the father of the child. Allah says that this news might soften his heart and he might return and the marriage may be saved. Allah says that husbands have a greater obligation to take them (their wives) back so that marriages can be saved and grievances can be removed. Further, close relatives are instructed not to become a hindrance. Sometimes it is the close friends and relatives who are destroying the life of the girl. Even if the girl is not objecting and ready for reconciliation, her relatives create a fuss, that as she has been divorced, they will not send her back. It becomes a matter of false honor and ego.

Sometimes cases are reported to me also. I am amazed to see that sometimes parents are destroying their own daughters’ homes due to their false sense of honor. Some girls write letters to me that we, (husband and wife), want to live together, but our parents have made it an issue because of their egos. So, Allah says that the relatives should not become a hindrance in re-establishment of this union. If a man has realized his mistake, then the girl’s home should not be destroyed only due to a false sense of honor. Thus, by safeguarding the rights of women, Allah establishes the rule that women have the same rights over men as men have over them.

Allah says:

“And the divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three courses; and it is not lawful for them that they conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day; and their husbands have the greater right to take them back during that period, provided they desire reconciliation. And they (the women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in equity; but men have a rank above them. And Allah is Mighty, Wise.”2

So, for the sake of humanity and for a relationship that has been built on a covenant, both men and women have been instructed to fulfil the rights of each other. If both are attentive to each other’s rights, their relationship will grow stronger. Thus, this commandment is given to establish the rights of women. These beautiful teachings of Islam have brought about a revolution in society. Before the advent of Islam, Arabs had deprived women of all their rights. In fact, no other religion has established the rights of women as Islam has done. The Holy Prophet(sa) stressed the rights of women on many occasions. The Holy Prophet(sa) said,

“The best among you is the one who is best to his wives and I am the best of those who are good to their wives.”3

In Surah Al-Nisa verse 20, Allah Almighty, says:

“O ye who believe! it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will; nor should you detain them wrongfully that you may take away part of that which you have given them, except that they be guilty of a flagrant evil; and consort with them in kindness; and if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing wherein Allah has placed much good.”4

Thus, a man should not be hasty in his decisions. He should remember that Allah has the power to lead this to a good end. These days, divorces are very common. That is why men should take their time before making such decisions. They should keep in mind that sometimes petty issues lead to huge problems. It is possible that you may not like something in your marriage, but Allah might have placed benefit in it for you.

If you treat your wives in this manner for the sake of Allah’s pleasure, then through prayers, He will bless your efforts. If there are children in homes that are on the verge of destruction and are about to break up, the children will be very disturbed. But when the husband and wife seek the Will and Pleasure of Allah, the same homes become peaceful and a means of fostering love and affection.

In the same verse, Allah has advised both men and women that although they are both equal in rights, men have a higher rank due to some administrative reasons and also because of some strengths and responsibilities. Therefore, women should give men some margin for this. And Allah has instructed men that if He has granted them superiority in the role of guardian, then it is their job to understand and fulfil their responsibilities; it is the man’s duty to provide for the operation and expenses of the household. It does not mean that he should stay in the house and force his wife to go out to earn money and work. This is happening in some households here in Western society. It is the man’s job to assume total responsibility for his wife and children.

Thus, Allah, who is Mighty and Wise, has established the rights of men and women. And by using the terms Mighty and Wise in the end, Allah has reminded men that they should not take advantage of the authority they have been given over women, because the Mighty Lord is above them. He is watching all their actions. It is His rule. His eye is on them. If they mistreat their families, they will earn His wrath. So they should use their authority and advantage over women to the extent they are allowed, and be mindful of their duty to fulfil their rights. If they keep these things in mind, they will benefit from the wisdom of the Wise God who has given them this advantage. Therefore, these are the commandments of the Mighty and Wise Allah, the Exalted, which will establish peace in society and tranquility in homes. Then acts of goodness abound and the beauty of this profound teaching is enhanced and continues to spread. But if a person is not mindful of these teachings, he will not only disrupt the peace of society, but will also earn the wrath of Allah Almighty. May Allah enable us all to understand this profound teaching, Ameen.