(Excerpt from Friday Sermon, December 1, 2006)
A few days ago, someone wrote to me that he could not find a match for marriage due to non-cooperation from the Rishta Nata department (Jama’at matrimonial service) of Pakistan. I asked for a report and found that several matches had been suggested but they were not accepted because the boy wanted a match according to his conditions. He himself was only educated up to 10th grade; his own schooling was minimal but his conditions were that the girl must be educated, with a Master’s degree; she should be earning, and her dowry should include a house and cash in amount of one to two million rupees. She should not only bear his expenses but also neither she nor her family should ask him to work. It should be his decision whether to work or not. Such a person can only be called insane. The Rishta Nata department should not pay any attention to such matches and such boys (I do not know why they kept suggesting matches to him), because if the Rishta Nata workers have to deal with such people, they might become insane themselves. Unfortunately for them they have to cooperate, but no one except a fool or a bully makes such demands.
Sometimes no demands are made before the day of the wedding, but right after the wedding the behavior of the boy’s family changes completely. Sometimes complaints are received where unethical demands are made to the girl’s family. If the girl’s family does not respond to their satisfaction and the demands are not met, the girl faces taunts and disputes. May Allah give understanding to such people and have mercy on them.
Therefore, when a foolish and unreasonable person does something like this, he is actually being unjust to himself because no one can be unjust to Allah. This type of person has no perception of the Divine attribute of Rubbubiyyat (the Sustainer). These people do not comprehend the infinite benevolence bestowed upon us by our Lord, who has given us commandments as beneficence. When we act upon these commandments, we are able to reap the blessings of prayers taught to us by God; without them we would not be able to. One such prayer is found in the Holy Qur’an in verses 84-86 of Surah Al-Shu’ara:
“My Lord, bestow wisdom on me and join me with the righteous. And give me a true reputation among posterity. And make me one of the inheritors of the Garden of Bliss.”1
1 Holy Qur’an 26:84-86