Huzoore Anwer spoke on marital problems in a Friday sermon and narrated the pure changes that were brought about in the companions of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) with reference to the Promised Messiah’s (on whom be peace) pronouncements. Huzoore Anwer said:
“Hazrat Chaudhry Muhammad Akbar Sahib relates about a companion, Chaudhry Nazir Mahmood Sahib who hailed from district Shahpur and was related to Hazrat Maulawi Sher Ali Sahib and was employed in [the town of] Dera Ghazi Khan. As far as this humble one remembers he used to say that before being associated to Ahmadiyya community his condition was not good and he did not care for his wife at all. Allah the Exalted granted him guidance in the blessed time of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) and enabled him to recognise the truth. Following this he desired to meet the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) so he went to Qadian Darul Amaan. Upon reaching there he came to know that Huzoor had gone to Gurdaspur for a court case. So, he went to Gurdaspur and had the opportunity to meet the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) when Huzoor was all by himself and was lying on his bed. He started massaging Huzoor and requested prayers. Just then some other friend came in to meet Huzoor and said to Huzoor that his in-laws had agreed to send their daughter back to him [perhaps after his wife had left the marital home and gone back to her parents following a dispute with him] with great difficulty (that is, they had sent her back). He said he had also decided that now he would not send their daughter to her parents. (Perhaps it was a case of inter-marriages). As soon as Huzoor heard his words, Huzoor’s face went red and Huzoor angrily told him to promptly leave, in case due to him uttering impudence in Huzoor’s company, even Huzoor experienced Divine damnation. So he got up and left and returned after a short while and said that he repented and asked for forgiveness. After which Huzoor gave him permission to sit.
“Late Chaudhry Nazir Mahmood used to say that when he saw this he was deeply mortified that Huzoor was displeased at such a minor thing while his own condition was such that he did not even care for his wife and had no regard for his in-laws. What a big sin it was! He used to say that he repented as he sat there and pledged in his heart to go home and apologise to his wife and would not mistreat her in future. He used to say that on his return he bought many gifts for his wife and when he got home he presented the gifts to his wife and humbly apologised to her for the past mistreatment. She was astonished at the change in him. When she came to know that all this was because of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) she prayed a lot for Huzoor in that Huzoor had replaced her bitter life with a most pleasant life. (Register Riyawat Sahaba, No. I, pp. 6-7)”
Huzoore Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) said: “In fact this was the right of women that the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) had established but Muslims had forgotten it and the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) established it once again. Woman has been most regarded and valued in Islam.”
(Friday sermon delivered on 13 January 2006 at Baitul Futuh, London. Published in Al Fazl International 3 February 2006)
Huzoore Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) said at another occasion:
“You can observe here that just as the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) had enjoined [his followers] to become role models, this companion promptly repented and tried to be a good model. Today, majority of you sitting here or at least a good number of you here, are from the families of those companions who tried to become role models after taking bai’at (pledge of allegiance) and indeed became models. You should adopt these virtues if you too have a sincere connection and claim to be from the community of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace). Make a pledge today that you will establish models of virtue, will forgive oversights of your wives. Young women’s families who oppress them should pledge that they will forgive oversights of young men. This can remove societal and familial acrimonies borne of conflicts. If marital conflicts are leading to separation, try from the start to focus on prayers and avail of these virtuous surroundings to heal broken hearts.”
(Friday sermon delivered on 24 June 2005 at International Centre, Toronto, Canada Published Al Fazl International 8 July 2005)
Hazrat Khalifatul Masih V (may Allah be his Helper) advised members of the Jama’at at Jalsa Salana Spain about kindness to women with reference to Ahadith of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him):
“The Holy Prophet’s (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) advice on domestic matters can be found in Ahadith. Hazrat Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) said: ‘Treat women well, for a woman is created from the rib (that is, she is bowed like the rib). The most curved part of the rib is its upper portion. If you try to straighten it, you will break it. If you leave it as it is, you will continue to avail of its benefits. Treat women with kindness and listen to my advice in this matter.’ (Sahih Bukhari, Kitabu Nikah, Babul Wasiyyate bi-nisa’, Hadith 5186)
“Another Tradition relates that a woman is like the rib, if you try to straighten it, you will break it. However, if you try, you can avail of its benefit in spite of it being bowed. (Sahih Bukhari, Kitabu Nikah, Babul Mudarate ma’al nisa’, Hadith number 5184)
“In another Tradition Hazrat Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) said: ‘A true believer should not have hatred and rancour for his believing wife. If he does not like something about her, there will be something else that he may like.’ (Sahih Muslim, Kitabu Ridha’, Babul Wasiyyate bil nisa’, Hadith number 3648)
“That is, if you do not like something about her, there will be other things that you like and you should always focus on the positive . Advising women he also said: ‘You are the guardian of your husband’s homes. Fully look after his home and obey him completely.’ (Sahih Bukhari, Kitabu Nikah, Babul Mar’atu ra’iyatun fi baite zawjeha, Hadith number 5200)
“Peace of home can only prevail if both parties treat each other in this way.
“In another hadith Hazrat Muawiya bin Haidah narrates that he asked the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) O Prophet of Allah! What is the right of a wife over her husband? The Prophet replied: ‘Feed her as you feed yourself, clothe her as you clothe yourself. Do not strike her on the face and disfigure her. If you have to separate yourself from her to teach her a lesson for some mistake of hers, do so within the home. That is, do not turn her out of the house.’ (Sunan Abi Dawood, Kitabul Nikah, Babu Fi haqil mar’ate ‘ala zawjeha, Hadith number 2142)”
(Address delivered on 3 April 2010 at Jalsa Salana Spain)
At the occasion of Jalsa Salana UK 2004 Hazrat Khalifatul Masih V (may Allah be his Helper) said in the same vein:
“Any chastisement allowed is for the sake of reformation and not to settle scores while enraged. Also, the sentiments of the wife should also be looked after and her apparent needs should also be met.”
(Address delivered to ladies on 31 July 2004 at Jalsa Salana UK. Published in Al Fazl International 24 April 2015)
Hazrat Khalifatul Masih V (may Allah be his Helper) drew the attention of men towards their societal responsibilities in one of his addresses to ladies. Huzoore Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) recited the following verse and said:
“‘O ye who believe! fear Allah; and let every soul look to what it sends forth for the morrow. And fear Allah; verily Allah is Well-Aware of what you do.’ (59:19)
“The progress of any nation or society is mostly dependent on the high standard of its women. This is why Islam has bestowed women a high status. They have status as a wife as well as a mother. Men have been instructed by means of:
“‘…And consort with them in kindness…’ (4:20) and thus have been told that women have a status and men should not find excuses to gratuitously harass them. Men are told that the continuity of their progeny is through women. Since everyone is not aware of certain matters, men are sometimes harsh to women due to such lack of knowledge. It is therefore stated to men that it is possible that due to your lack of knowledge and not having an in-depth understanding you express dislike towards women. However, remember that God Almighty Who has knowledge of everything and is aware of everything has placed goodness for you in women. Therefore haste should never be employed in making decisions regarding women.”
(Address to ladies delivered on 21 August 2004 at Jalsa Salana Germany)