In one of his Friday sermons Huzoore Anwer gave important counsel regarding every one being a guardian. As regards to men being head of the household and guardianship within the home, Huzoore Anwer said:
“Hazrat Abdullah bin Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that he heard the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) say: ‘Every one of you is a guardian and will be held accountable for his charges: Imam is a guardian and will be answerable for his charge; a man is the guardian of his family and will be answerable for his charge; a woman is a guardian of her husband's home and will be answerable for her charge; and a servant is a guardian of his master's property and will be answerable for his charge. The narrator says that he thinks the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) also said that man is guardian of his father’s property and will be answerable for his charge and said that each one of you is a guardian and will be answerable for his or her charge.’ (Sahih Bukhari, Kitabu Jum’ah, Babul Jum’ate fil Qura wal Mudun)
“This Tradition mentions various people as guardians within their surroundings. However, as I am speaking about men at the moment, I shall give a brief explanation in this regard. Generally speaking, these days men say that as they are responsible for matters outside the home and they are busy with their business and employment, they cannot give attention to family and the entire responsibility of looking after children is a woman’s task. It should be remembered that as the head of the household it is the duty of the man to also keep an eye on the ambiance of his home, to fulfil the rights of his wife and also the rights of his children. He should give time to the children and be with them even if only for the two days of the weekend. He should attach them to the mosque, take them to Jama’at programmes, make leisure plans with them, and be involved in their interests so that they can share their problems with him like a friend. He should find out if his wife has any problems or the children have any problems and then try and resolve them. Then he can have the status of head of household, because if the head of any place is not aware of the problems of people in his sphere of authority, he cannot be called a successful head. Therefore the best guardian is the one who is aware of the problems of his surroundings. It is a cause for concern that there is a gradual increase in the number of people who wish to escape their responsibilities and their sphere of supervision or they shut their eyes to it! They try and spend their life engrossed in their own world. A true believer, an Ahmadi should not be even remotely associated with this. The commandment for a true believer is that let alone worldly routine, it is wrong even if his religious routine, whereby due to his regular activities and worship of God he does not have any idea of what is going on in his surroundings, does not fulfil the rights of his wife and children, the rights of his friends and does not fulfil the rights of society. High levels of righteousness cannot be attained in this manner, on the contrary, in order to attain these levels, the rights of Allah the Exalted should be fulfilled as well as the rights of people!
“Just as it is cited in a Tradition; Hazrat Abdullah bin Amr bin Aas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) addressed him and said: ‘O 'Abdullah! Is that which I have been informed correct that you fast all day and stand in Prayer all night?’ I said, ‘yes, O Messenger of Allah.’ He said, ‘do not do that! Sometimes observe the fast and at other times do not fast; stand up for Prayer at night and also sleep at night. Because your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you, your wife has a right over you and those who come to visit you have a right over you.’ (Sahih Bukhari, Kitabu Sawm, Babu Haqil Jisme fi-sawm)
“Regarding how the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) used to fulfil the rights of the family as head of the household, Hazrat Aswad (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that he asked Hazrat ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her), ‘what did the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) do at home?’ She replied: ‘He would keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for Salat, he would go to the mosque.’ (Sahih Bukhari, Kitabal Aathan)
“Who could be busier and more engaged in worship than the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him)? Yet, observe his blessed model, he took such interest in domestic matters that he did the housework as well and was involved in other activities. He used to say: ‘The best among you are those who are best to their families and I am the best among you to my family.’ (Tirmizi, Kitabul Manaqib). We should self-reflect to see if we put this beautiful and blessed model in practice.”
(Friday sermon delivered on 2 July 2004 at International Centre, Mississauga, Canada. Published in Al Fazl International 16 July 2004)