In response to the criticism levied on Islam that it oppresses women by allowing men to take more than one wife, Hazrat Khalfatul Masih V (may Allah be his Helper) said in his address to ladies on 31 July 2004 at Jalsa Salana UK:
“Islam has allowed four marriages with certain conditions and everyone is not free to indulge in this at their whim. In this regard the first condition is to be firm on righteousness and then self-reflect and ponder over whether the [additional] marriage is warrantable or not. Secondly, the person should consider if he can maintain fairness between the wives. If not, then the man has no right to take a second wife. If he cannot fulfil the rights and obligations of his first wife and is anxious to get married for a second time, he has no right to do so.
“The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) said: ‘A husband should have such regard and respect for the feelings of his first wife, that if he feels the need of a second wife, but is afraid that it would hurt his first wife and break her heart, in such a case, if he can exercise restraint without falling into sin,’ that is, not commit a sin, ‘and without sacrificing his lawful needs, it would be preferable for him to forego the advantages of a second marriage for the sake of comforting his first wife.’ (Malfuzat, Vol. 7, pp. 64-65, edition published in London; Essence of Islam, Vol. III, p. 321)
“The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) says here, do not take more wives merely out of eagerness as some men do. This is also a response to those who criticise that Islam allows polygamy. The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) says that the main point is that if one can be patient for the sake of the sentiments of the first wife, one should do so. However, if there is a need which is permissible in Shariah to take a second wife then one may go ahead. In such circumstances, usually the first wives give permission. In summary, men should make sacrifice for the sake of the sentiments of the first wife apart from in matters of extreme necessity. Second wives should not be taken out of eagerness.
“The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) said: ‘I openly set forth what I have learned from God Almighty. The reason why the Holy Qur’an permits more than one wife is that you earn the pleasure of God by holding fast to righteousness and by other means such as begetting pious offspring, looking after the near of kin and fulfilling the obligations owed to them. For the achievement of this purpose, marriage is permitted with as many as four women at one time, but if you feel that you may not be able to maintain equality between them you should confine yourselves to one wife, as in such cases marrying more than one would be disobedience and a cause of incurring punishment from Allah rather than the reward of Allah and you would be committing other sins due to your aversion to one sin.’
“The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) also said: ‘The law of God Almighty should not be used contrary to its purpose, nor should it be invoked to serve as a shield for self-indulgence. To do so would be a great sin. God Almighty has repeatedly admonished against yielding to carnal passions. Righteousness alone should be your motive for everything.’ (Malfuzat, Vol. 7, pp. 64-65, edition published in London)”
(Address delivered to ladies on 31 July 2004 at Jalsa Salana UK. Published in Al Fazl International 24 April 2015)
Hazrat Khalifatul Masih V (may Allah be his Helper) said the following concerning taking multiple wives in his Friday sermon of 15 May 2009:
“Allah the Exalted states in this regard that it is not an open permission:
“‘And if you fear that you, the society, may fail to do justice in matters concerning orphans in the aftermath of war then marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four. And if you fear you will not deal justly, then marry only one or what your right hands possess. That is the nearest way for you to avoid injustice.’ (4:4)
“This verse safeguards orphan girls and connotes that if you marry orphan girls it should not be borne of any oppressive attitude. In fact you should marry them giving them their full rights and also take care of their emotional well-being and should not let the thought come to your mind that since they do not have family support you can mete out any kind of treatment towards them. If you have any qualm, any misgiving about yourself that you will not be able to be fair then marry free women. There is permission to marry two, three and four wives but this should be done within the requisites of fairness. If you cannot be fair do not take more than one wife.
“The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) said in this regard: ‘There is no harm in your marrying orphan girls who are under your care, but if you apprehend that you may not be fair in dealing with them because they are orphans, then marry women who have parents and relations to be watchful of them, who would respect you and concerning whom you would be careful. You may marry two or three or four of them provided you can deal equitably with all of them. But if you feel that you may not deal justly between them then marry only one, even if you should feel the need of more than one.’ (Philosophy of the Teachings of Islam, p. 39)
“‘Even if you should feel the need of more than one’ is a very meaningful statement. The Judge and Arbiter of this age has decided that your need, under which pretext you wish to marry again is not of real significance. The main thing is societal peace and justice.
“These days complaints from some place or the other are received that in spite of having a family the husband wants to marry again on various pretexts. First of all it is stated that if you cannot be fair do not take a second wife. And fairness includes fulfilment of every kind of right. If one’s income is not enough to run a household then by taking on the liability of a second marriage, one would be usurping the rights of the first wife and children.
“The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) has said in one place that in the event when one has to take a second wife due to some inevitability the first wife should be cared for more than before. (Malfuzat, Vol. III, p. 430, published in Rabwah)
“However, what we see practised in society these days is gradual erosion of the rights of the first wife and her children which, is against the commandment of Allah the Exalted. Therefore it should be evaluated if there is any discrepancy between one’s financial ease and discharging rights of others!
“The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) said: ‘According to me it is preferable that one does not put oneself in trial.’ (Al Hakm, Vol. II, dated 2 March 1898, p. 2. Tafseer Hazrat Masih Maud, Surah Al-Nisa, verse 4, Vol. II. p. 211). Here, the connotation of putting oneself in trial is by taking a second wife.
“Fulfilling rights of the wife is such a huge responsibility that by not discharging it one is embroiled in tribulation and incurs displeasure of God Almighty. I had mentioned a prayer of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) that he used to supplicate Allah the Exalted that habitually he tried to give everyone their rights; however, he sought Allah’s forgiveness if due to a good attribute of any one of his wives he involuntarily reacted differently to them. This is exactly in line with human nature and Allah the Exalted, Who has created man and has also given him permission to take more than one wife, Who knows the state of man’s heart and is even aware of the inner most recesses of a person and has knowledge of the unseen, has explained in the Holy Qur’an that a situation can arise when in certain circumstances you will be more inclined to one of them [wives]. In such a situation it is evidently essential to fully meet the obvious rights, just as Allah the Exalted states in Surah Al-Nisa:
“‘And you cannot keep perfect balance between wives, despite your best intentions, so incline not entirely to one, lest the other should be left suspended, unattended and uncared for. And if you amend and act righteously, surely Allah is Most Forgiving, Merciful.’ (4:130)
“It is not possible to have perfect fairness in matters which are beyond a person’s control. However, it is important to be fair in matters over which a person has control and obvious fairness, as I have mentioned earlier, includes providing for food and drink, clothes, accommodation and also giving time. It is not correct if only expenses are met but no time is given or accommodation is arranged but household expenses are disregarded and the woman ends up at the mercy of others. It is the husband’s responsibility to provide for all the obvious needs.
“A tradition relates that the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) said when a man has two wives and is inclined to one of them and disregards the other, on the Day of Judgement he will be raised with one side of his body cut away or separated. (Sunan Nisa’i, Kitabu ‘Ishrate-nisa’, Babu Mayle-rajul, Hadith number 3942)
“Allah the Exalted says that righteousness is in giving the obvious rights to both the wives and neither wife should be disregarded in a way that in spite of her being a wife she is deprived of every right. It should not be that she is neither separated nor are her due rights fulfilled. This should not be the way of a believer. It is the obligation of a believer to avoid what Allah the Exalted has forbidden and reform himself.”
(Friday sermon delivered on 15 May 2009 at Baitul Futuh, London. Published in Al Fazl International 5 June 2009)