(Istighfar–seek forgiveness from Allah) and repentance before God. Drawing our attention to this subject, Allah the Exalted states:Huzoore Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) advised ladies regarding family problems and said:
“Some women develop complaints due to the situation with the in-laws and they show impatience. Sometimes when the pain becomes too much their reaction also intensifies to the extent that they even harbour grievances against Allah the Exalted. Rather than intensify grievances, efforts should be made to solve the problems faced while praying to Allah the Exalted. I appreciate it and it is also in my knowledge that some families perpetrate unbearable outrages. In such situations one has to resort to the administration of the Jama’at and the law. However, generally speaking one should further turn to God seeking His help with prayer, give alms and bring change in attitudes rather than harbour complaints. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) once said: ‘O group of women! Give alms and abundantly engage in Istighfar.’ (Sahih Muslim, Kitabul Eman, Babu Bayane nuqsanel Emane be naqse-ta’aat)”
(Address delivered on 23 August 2003 at Jalsa Salana Germany. Published in Al Fazl International 18 November 2005)
Addressing ladies on 25 June 2011 at Jalsa Salana Germany Hazrat Khalifatul Masih V (may Allah be his Helper) said:
“We should improve our practices by engaging in (Istighfar–seek forgiveness from Allah) and repentance before God. Drawing our attention to this subject, Allah the Exalted states:
“‘And those who repent and do good deeds indeed turn to Allah with true repentance.’ (25:72)
“Mere verbal repentance is not true repentance. Rather, repentance needs to be supported and upheld with good deeds. A woman who truly repents will always have her mistakes and slip ups in view so that she develops disgust for them. When this disgust is developed she will be drawn to alms giving and charity and she will promise not to do what is disliked by God Almighty. Owing to certain disagreements some people, some women, they try to harm others as their resentment and rancour grows. Real repentance means not only to reconcile with whom one is estranged from but also recant whatever harm one has caused them. When this recanting is done with repentance it will be a virtuous act and a good deed. Some husbands, wives, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law and sisters-in-law write letters to me acknowledging that they have made mistakes and will not repeat them in future. However, these people neither apologise to those who they had harmed or had tried to harm nor do they express remorse or contrition. In any case, both men and women need to pay attention to this matter because men are also the same. Worldly greed so overpowers them that fear of God completely vanishes. Sometimes some people apologise outwardly but as I mentioned resentment and rancour festers inside them and whenever they get a chance they try and inflict harm.
“Allah the Exalted has made true repentance conditional to good deeds, moreover repentance will be accepted only if a mistake is removed and redressed. In such an instance Allah the Exalted states that people who follow this are truly those who turn to Him. Thus we should always seek repentance that is true and sincere. Regarding this Allah the Exalted states in another place:
“‘But surely I am forgiving to those who repent and believe and do good deeds, and then stick to guidance.’ (20:83) Here it is enjoined to stay firm on guidance and it is further explained that carrying out good deeds is essential after repentance, so it is instructed here to do good works and advice is given not to have any presumptions about initiating reconciliation of one’s own accord. Rather, it is stated that if in your view the guided step that you have taken is a good deed then it should not be a one-off repentance and reconciliation. This is something which should always be adhered to and adherence to guidance grants nearness to God Almighty!
“Thus, the claim to have a cleansed heart is only acceptable when a person remains firm on it and not only that but good deeds also become the identity of every woman, every man and every Ahmadi and they are also examples and role models for others. Everyone can look into their hearts; it is a fact that when one looks into one’s heart and makes a decision, the conscience makes the most appropriate decision. Of course providing one’s heart is clear and has fear of God! And one ponders and questions oneself as to whether one’s repentance was sincere and one’s good deed is to attain the pleasure of Allah the Exalted? And if this is so, then, is one resolutely firm on adopting virtues and forsaking evil purely for the sake of Allah? A person comes to a realisation whether or not they are firm on this after self-reflecting for a while.”
(Address delivered to ladies on 25 June 2011 at Jalsa Salana Germany. Published in Al Fazl International 13 April 2012)