Expressing concern over how some men are embroiled in greed Huzoore Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) said in a Friday sermon:
“I say it with great sadness that in Canada acrimony between husband and wife after marriage is growing quite rapidly. I believe the blame mostly lies with both sets of parents. They have no tolerance or sometimes the man’s parents try that he does not develop an understanding with his wife and the couple do not nurture any mutual trust so that the parents do not lose their son! Relationships also break when some men from Pakistan get betrothed here but after arriving here they break up the betrothal. Such people have no fear; these young men should have some fear of God! The families they get betrothed in have done them a favour by providing them an opportunity to come here [to the West]! Their academic prowess is next to nothing and had they come over through an agent it would have cost them 150,000 to 200,000 Rupees. So they come here for free, as most young men also get the girls’ family to pay the airfare, and after arriving here they show their cunning behaviour. They break the betrothal and look for another match of their choice or sometimes such matches are pre-planned and they get embroiled in various vulgarities. Parents of such young men also support them, whether they are residents here or are from Pakistan!”
Huzoore Anwer added: “Then some young men are after the property of their wives. Even after having children, rather than looking after them, they exploit the law and seek separation and devour their property. If the wife is foolish to have the property in joint name, they exploit this arrangement and abandon the wife and children.”
(Friday sermon delivered on 24 June 2005 at International Centre, Toronto, Canada. Published in Al Fazl International 8 July 2005)
With reference to the same subject Huzoore Anwer said at another occasion:
“However, there are a large number of young men from Pakistan, India etc. who come to this country after their marriage. After their immigration status is confirmed they start finding excuses of not getting on with the wife and start oppressing her. Allah the Exalted states:
“‘…and consort with them in kindness; and if you dislike them it may be that you dislike a thing wherein Allah has placed much good.’ (4:20). Thus, once marriage takes place, decency requires mutual tolerance and kindness. Try to understand one another and adopt righteousness. Allah the Exalted says that if you are kind to each other in compliance with Allah’s Words, your apparent dislike can turn into fondness and you can find good in the relationship because you do not have knowledge of the unseen but Allah has knowledge of the unseen and is the Master of all powers. He will create good for you in it.
“Hazrat Khalifatul Masih I (may Allah be pleased with him) said that once he found out that a young man did not treat his wife well and was very rude to her. One day he happened to meet the young man along the way and he advised him in light of the [above] verse. He went straight home and said to his wife that of course she knew how hostile he had been towards her but that day Hazrat Maulana Nur ud Din Sahib (may Allah be pleased with him) had opened his eyes and he would now treat her well. Hazrat Khalifatul Masih I (may Allah be pleased with him) related that following this Allah the Exalted blessed him with four beautiful sons and they lived happily. Allah the Exalted thus grants such rewards if His commandments are acted on in order to gain His pleasure!
“Therefore young men who come here from countries like Pakistan etc. and abandon their wives after a few days saying they do not like them or some young men marry girls from those countries because of their parents and later say that they do not like the wife and that they had only gone through the marriage because of the parents should self-reflect! As I said there are two kinds of young men who create problems: one kind is of residents of the West. They marry young women from abroad with the thought that they will see for a while if they get on or not. This is because the thinking here in these countries now is that first see if you get on or not and if you do not get on then kick her out of the home. Such people are not prompt in registering their marriages and nikah here in case the young women gets some sort of legal protection enabling her to stay on here and take legal action against them. Parents are equally culpable in such matters. In any case Jama’at tries to look after such young women but actions of these people show that they do not have the right to remain in the Jama’at in any way. The other kind of young men are those who come from abroad to get married here and try and have the marriage and nikah registered promptly. Once nikah is registered and they obtain their visa etc., they start finding faults in the young women. This is followed by separation and another marriage of their own choice. Both these kinds of people are distant from righteousness. They should not wrong themselves and should not try and bring the Jama’at in disrepute and should abide by righteousness and practice righteousness. Allah the Exalted says that such oppressors should remember that there is a Higher Being Who is very Powerful!”
(Friday sermon delivered on 10 November 2006 at Baitul Futuh, London. Published Al Fazl International 1 December 2006)