Huzoore Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) said the following in one of his Friday sermons as regards the Divine statement that, “husband and wife are a garment for each other”:
“Last Friday I briefly mentioned matters pertaining to relationship between husband and wife and how in some situations due to mutual disagreements, neither desists from hurling abuse at the other and I mentioned that Allah the Exalted dislikes this enormously. Allah the Exalted has thus drawn attention of both husband and wife to their respective obligations:
“‘…They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them…’ (2:188). That is, it is the responsibility of both to cover each other’s faults. The Holy Qur’an expounds the uses of garment as a source of covering nakedness, secondly as a source of embellishment and thirdly as a protection from hot and cold weather.
“Thus when a man and a woman commit themselves to the union of marriage in accordance with a pact, their utmost efforts should be to accept each other and also cover each other’s shortcomings. Neither men nor women should become enraged over small matters. Mutual relationship of an Ahmadi married couple should enhance their beauty and such beauty should radiate from each Ahmadi couple so that they become exemplary for others.”
Huzoore Anwer added: “As the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) has also said that these matters are exposed when anger and rage flares up in people. Therefore anger should be controlled. Allah the Exalted likes suppression of anger and has commanded not to show anger.
“Thus each Ahmadi who has come in the bai’at (oath of allegiance) of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) and so has pledged to try and bring a pure change in him or herself and to try and make their family relationships better, should try and fulfil the pledge.
“When I hear about conflicts where minor disagreements lead to break-ups I am always reminded of a story of a young girl who gave an excellent lesson to a couple. The young girl saw a married couple argue and fight or speak to each other with raised voices in anger. She was so astonished to see the spectacle that she kept staring at them. The couple noticed this and asked the girl what was the matter, had she never seen her mother and father quarrel? Did they never get angry? The girl replied that yes they did get angry but when her mother became angry her father kept quiet and when her father became angry her mother kept quiet.
“Thus tolerance needs to be adopted. At times, trivial matters cause break-ups very early on. Only a few days after the wedding the couple maintain that there has been ‘no meeting of hearts’ between them although the marriage takes place between them after many years of betrothal. The main issue is that when the couple are not discrete about each other and divulge information, it results in outsiders making erroneous suggestions to them simply for the sake of enjoying tittle-tattle or due to their inclination to give wrong advice and this causes break-ups. This is why advice is also a trust. When such couples, men, women or younger people contact someone for advice, it is the obligation of an Ahmadi to always give advice that makes a home and not impart advice that breaks a home.”
(Friday sermon delivered on 3 April 2009 at Baitul Futuh, London. Published in Al Fazl International 24 April 2009)