Injustices of In-Laws Owing to Lack of Both Qawl e Sadeed and Righteousness

Concerning the importance of qawl e sadeed (speaking the absolute truth) and with reference to marital issues Huzoore Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) said the following as regards oppression and injustices faced by young women:

“Another matter in this regard is the current issue of marital problems where young women communicate daily that they are enduring cruelty or unfairness of their in-laws or their husband. At times [before marriage] the young woman is not [fully] informed about the young man or is given information in such unclear and ambiguous words that the young woman or her parents do not think much of it. However, once experienced, the situation is terrible and frightening. It is sometimes noted that in such situations, owing to decency and sympathy, the young man wishes to keep his wife but the mother-in-law or sister-in-law are very harsh and they make their son or brother take such harsh actions that the poor young woman is left with only two options. To either separate, or spend the rest of her life enduring cruelty. It has also come to light that at times when such harshness is perpetrated then later on, when the young woman acquires control in her capacity as the daughter-in-law, she too begins harsh and unfair treatment of the mother-in-law. And so, this vicious, satanic cycle continues in families that do not abide by righteousness. Even though, at the time of nikah when proposal and consent is given, [Quranic] verses pertaining to righteousness and qawl e sadeed (–the right word) are recited to draw attention to the fact that we must create such a paradisiacal society and such an environment that others are drawn towards us. Although there will be just a few such examples in the Jama’at, yet, they are hurtful and painful examples. The [Quranic] verse that is being explained right now, is also one of the verses recited at the time of the nikah. As Hazrat Khalifatul Masih I (may Allah be pleased with him) once said, always think of the consequences before saying or doing anything, and also that Allah the Exalted is aware of whatever you do. Those who are unfair think no one is watching them and they can perpetrate whatever cruelty they want on someone else’s daughter within their home. Allah the Exalted is aware of this and if it is kept in view that Allah the Exalted is watching and Allah is aware, Huzoor (Hazrat Khalifatul Masih I) says, then these ills can be avoided. May Allah make it so that every Ahmadi family; be it the husband, the wife, the mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law or the sister-in-law, all abide by righteousness and create a beautiful society.”

(Friday sermon delivered on 30 May 2003 at Fazl Mosque, London. Published in Al Fazl International 18 July 2003)

Huzoore Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) said the following on the same subject in one of his Friday sermons:

“In their capacity as mothers-in-law and because such is their disposition, some women demand the daughter-in-law to be thrown out during small domestic altercations. But it is astonishing when fathers-in-law, men who have been given sense by Allah the Exalted, are influenced by their wives or of their own accord start reprimanding daughters-in-law. So much so that they unfairly raise their hands on daughters-in-law and also ask their sons to hit them, saying, ‘it does not matter if she dies in the process, they will bring another wife!’ May Allah give sense to such men! They should heed the words of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) where he said that such men are cowards and not men.”

(Friday sermon delivered on 2 July 2004 at International Centre, Mississauga, Canada. Published in Al Fazl International 16 July 2004)

Huzoore Anwer gave most important counsel to members with reference to marital relationships in his Friday sermon of 24 June 2005 delivered at International Centre, Toronto, Canada.

“I say it with great sadness that in Canada acrimony between husband and wife after marriage is growing quite rapidly. I believe the blame mostly lies with both sets of parents. They have no tolerance or sometimes the man’s parents try that he does not develop an understanding with his wife and the couple do not nurture any mutual trust so that the parents do not lose their son … Then there are some mothers who spoil their daughters and make demands on the young man through their daughters. These people should have some fear of God.”

(Published in Al Fazl International 8 July 2005)