“The wisdom of the announcement of the Islamic nikah or the bond of marriage is that according to the commandment of Allah the Exalted, man and woman who are forming the union of husband and wife pledge at the time of nikah that they will try to abide by the Divine commandments read before them and will try to abide by the Quranic verses recited before them at the time of nikah so that they may adapt their lives accordingly. The foremost advice [at the announcement of nikah] is to adopt righteousness (
–taqwa). Therefore when one is giving the consent for one’s nikah, one is agreeing to abide by the Divine commandments that are recited at the time. If you truly have love and fear of God, of the Beloved God Who has taken care of all your needs from your birth, in fact even prior to your birth, then you will always do what pleases Him and as a result will be a recipient of His blessings.
“When husband and wife form a union by virtue of a pledge and promise to care for each other it becomes their obligation that in order to further improve their bond, they also care for one another’s relatives. It should be remembered that attacks of those who seek to create splits in relationships will never be successful if husband and wife care for each other and each other’s sentiments and also care and respect their friends and relatives because the surroundings also influence matters. Since your foundation will be upon righteousness, God Almighty will save those who abide by righteousness from the attacks of satanic inclinations. If husband and wife abide by righteousness and build confidence in each other, no matter how close or persuasive the inciter is, the husband or the wife will respond to them by informing them that they know their spouse well and the husband or the wife will respond to the inciter by saying they must have misunderstood something and the husband or wife will immediately offer to resolve the matter! If the person who takes some news regarding one party to the other party is honest they will never say, ‘do not mention my name when you ask your husband or wife, I have not told you this so that you may go and question your spouse.’ If someone says something and then asks for it to not be communicated further, you should know then that they are trying to create splits in the relationship and are creating distances and are using falsehood. A sympathetic person who wishes to make things better will always say something which will strengthen the relationship between husband and wife.
“Both husband and wife should always strive to abide by righteousness, and pray for the relationship to grow stronger and have regard for the respective relatives. If they hear something, no matter if it is from someone very close to them, both husband and wife should clear it all up by talking to each other lovingly and affectionately so that the person telling lies is exposed. If such matters are allowed to fester nothing will be gained apart from hatred, and distances will ensue and break-ups will take place.”
(Friday sermon delivered on 10 November 2006 at Baitul Futuh, London. Published in Al Fazl International 1 December 2006)
Similarly, while advising husbands and wives to keep in view each other’s good qualities, Huzoor e Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) stated:
“Enjoining husband and wife to find good qualities in each other, the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) said that if you see a flaw in the other or dislike a habit of theirs, theirs, there would be many aspects/characteristics of theirs that you may like and admire. These favourable aspects should be kept in view to selflessly create a harmonious air and milieu of conciliation. This counsel is for both husband and wife; if they control their emotions, constant trivial conflicts and quarrels in families will not arise and children will not be damaged. Sometimes trivial matters are so blown out of proportion and painful situations are created that one is perplexed at the very thought that there are people in this world who are humans in name only but are worse than animals in reality.”
(Friday sermon delivered on 2 July 2004 at International Centre, Mississauga, Canada. Published Al Fazl International, 16 July 2004)
At another occasion Huzoore Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) said:
“Marriage is also a contract between a man and a woman. A woman is commanded that in light of this pact she has some obligations. For example, she must look after the needs of her husband, nurture the children, looking after the household etc. Likewise, men have the responsibility of providing for the family and they have the responsibility of the varied needs pertaining to this. Both husband and wife have joint responsibility of the virtuous upbringing of children. The more husband and wife care for the rights of each other while abiding by this pact, the more beautiful society will become.”
(Friday sermon delivered on 19 December 2003 at Baitul Futuh, London. Published Al Fazl International, 13 February 2004)
Huzoore Anwer (may Allah be his Helper) recited verse 2 of Surah Al-Nisa in his address to ladies at Jalsa Salana Germany and gave advice regarding it. Huzoore Anwer said:
“The verse that I have just recited is recited at the time of nikah. In it Allah the Exalted states, O people, men and women! Fear Allah the Exalted and abide by His commandments. Pay the rights of Allah the Exalted and also pay the rights of people. By paying the rights of Allah the Exalted you will have His fear in your heart and your mind will not stray and you will stay firm on religion. Satan will not be able to overcome you. If you pay the rights of people, which is a commandment for both men and women, firstly men and women will discharge their responsibilities towards each other and will regard and be mindful of each other’s rights. They will make their homes hubs of love and affection and will fulfil the rights of their children. They will give time to their children and will give attention to their education and training. Rather than a child learning something from outside, there are many matters that parents have to teach their children. A loving connection should be forged with each other’s parents and siblings [in-laws] and their rights should be fulfilled. This responsibility is not only for women rather it is also the responsibility of men. This would bring about a loving and tolerant society where there would be no question of fighting for one’s rights because attention would be given towards fulfilling each other’s rights. Each man and woman would strive towards making a sacrifice in order to to fulfil each other’s rights.”
(Address delivered to ladies on 23 August 2003 at Jalsa Salana Germany. Published Al Fazl International 18 November 2005)